ME AND MY BIRD’S NEST…

Location: Marrakesh, Morocco

Me and my bird’s nest… It’s funny how natural hair is such a big thing nowadays. Could it be because of social media or just people feeling liberated enough to embrace what the good Lord blessed them with? Whatever the cause, I am grateful we, as a human race have finally reached that milestone. I grew up in a sweet, tiny African country where natural hair was never a novelty because most people celebrated it (well, at least in the little bubble that I grew up in called my family). Never did I, at any point, think that straight hair, or blonde hair was better than mine (even though I grew up playing with straight-haired, blue-eyed, blonde barbie dolls with my twin, aka cousin). I just thought hair was hair, and it was beautiful in whatever shape, form or colour one chose to wear it. I had aunties who straightened their hair, some who wore it naturally, and those that wore their hair in braids etc. So yes, that definitely impacted the healthy perspective I now have towards hair and people’s choices in how they wear their hair (yes, I am looking at all you natural haired beauties who think yours is the gospel… mhhhh). So yes, parents, it is up to us to model good things for our children, however you choose to do that. Just don’t be a hypocrite, and do something while expecting something different from your child, if you know what I mean. 

My hair was natural for as long as I can remember, and I am glad my family kept it that way (yes it was a group effort). My first memory discovering hair was a big deal was when I was about 7 years old. I was visiting my mother’s distant relatives for the school holidays, and they relaxed my hair, i.e. permanently straightened my hair using chemicals. (INSERT BIG EYED EMOJI!!). Much to my mother’s displeasure. Needless to say, she gave me the big chop as soon as I got back home and started growing my hair again from scratch. But yeah, who does that? Word of caution, you don’t permanently (or temporarily) straighten another woman’s offspring’s hair without permission, at least not in the African community! Ha! I probably begged them to do it though, out of curiosity… so yes, I will take  0.1% of the blame. But still, you just don’t mess with sacred stuff like that, lol.

Cue in me at 12 years old, after starting high school and making big girl decisions. Yaas! I was given the go ahead to straighten my hair then (natural hair was just too high maintenance for me to deal with alone in boarding school anyway, and there was no YouTube then to guide me). Anywhoo, one of my beloved aunties took me to a hair salon and not only did I get my hair straightened, I got it ‘set’ with rollers too. I came out looking hot enough to make a dragon wanna retire man! Yeah baby! With one of those elaborate 90’s girl band hairstyles, featuring that infamous, never-ending, spirally side-burn gelled to one side of your face! Mmmhhh! I could have totes been the 5th member of XSCAPE.  If ever there was a definition of ‘lit’, that was it, in the 90’s. You best recognize!

To cut the long story short, I kept my hair straightened for the rest of high school, with the occassional ‘Funkdafied’ braids (but that’s a story for another day). Once high school was over, I reverted back to my ‘normal’ i.e. natural curly hair which I found easier…. and loved the volume! But of course it aroused a lot of curiosity since I was in Australia, and the occasional hater’ation comment here and there from a few jealous African folk which is what inspired the title of this article. Yes, one time I sat in front of a petty frenemy, wearing my hair similar to these pictures. Just washed, blow-dried and with a bit of olive oil (yes laziness, but who cares). Shortly after, this said frenemy went to her twitter and wrote I’d rather have short healthy hair, than long unhealthy hair. Yes, because frizzy, undefined hair is the picture of ill health in petty people’s lives. Of course I knew she was talking about me hahaha That’s why I went to her twitter to check out the resulting pettiness. But you know what, my mother has always told me that when people choose to behave like that, they are simply jealous. And you know what, I believed her then, and still do TODAY. Holler to all the good parents out there, I see you! Anyway, the moral of the story is… you do you boo. If your hair looks like a bird’s nest (because you can’t be bothered to put a truck load of product in it and define it strand by strand), then ROCK IT un-apologetically like bird’s nests are the new ‘it thing’ in these streets…  P.S. This post inspired our “Year of The Mum Swag” cover which can be viewed here.