Ok, so I came across this article that’s been rotating on social media called “10 men Christian women should NEVER marry.” (There’s one for men too). I haven’t been able to shake it off for over a week, so I just had to say something.
In summary, I’ll just say strong titles like that make me really nervous, because they are so “matter of fact” that they take God out of the equation. Yeah sure, the article has a lot of important red flags singles need to watch out for, advice which I’ll probably pass onto my children too. But, that whole thing of Christians should NEVER marry outside the church really grieves my spirit. Yes, sure it’s ideal, but we should also understand that humans are just humans, and no one is beyond God’s reach. As great as it may sound to look for the perfect Christian boy, we should be aware that a lot of people modify their behaviour on Sunday for church. I hear sermons like this all the time and they really grieve my spirit because I know a lot of people who married non-Christians and it worked out perfectly. And on the flip side, I know so many divorced “perfect Christian couples” who ticked all the boxes.
I personally don’t have a problem with the article or the author as such, it’s the title that bothers me. It is so “matter of fact” which in my opinion takes God out of the equation all together. As great as our intentions are often, we should be aware that when we put articles like that out there, a lot of young impressionable single people get so fixated on having their future husbands tick a list written by someone, which doesn’t leave much room for them to even hear God for themselves.
Here’s my little piece of advice – it is great to learn from those who have gone before us; exercise wisdom, caution and a sound mind. And some things are just obvious. But most importantly, learn to hear from God for yourself. I am certain that His plan for your life will not be the same as the nicely coiffed lady sitting on the pew next to you. Only HE can write your best love story, and sometimes it can be in the most scandalous way that doesn’t fit the perfect Christian ‘box’. I mean look at Jesus’ lineage, some real dodgy characters over that neck of the woods.
Just in case you are wondering – I am married to the perfect Christian man 😉 so this is not written from a defensive point of view. I’ve learnt that God has a different plan for all of us, and He should be our first (and last) point of contact with all matters of life. People’s advice can be somewhere there, in between.
So to all my single older and younger sisters out there, have a great week and start praying for your future husband if you haven’t started yet. Works every time.